Dirty talk, like seduction and fine lovemaking, is an art form—perhaps one of the most underrated in a person’s arsenal of bedroom tricks. Studies have already proven that the female orgasm (I’d venture men’s, too) is as much about mental stimulation as it is about physical stimulation. There’s no better way to excite a lukewarm lover’s mind than with a few choice, well-placed words. In the interest of upping your dirty talk game, I’ve taken a survey to get a better sense of what works, and what doesn’t.
I have to admit, I really like being complimented. Like, if he starts talking about how nice my breasts are, or my ass, or how good I feel, that’s a huge turn-on. Guys who talk slow and quietly when they’re talking nasty are HUGE turn-ons. For me, though, dirty talk has an even bigger place outside of the bedroom, as a kind of appetizer, I guess. If a guy sexts me and recounts a naughty memory that he just can’t shake, that’ll get me horny pretty quickly. Some guys have also pulled the assertive act on me, too—and it can work if you’re confident enough, things like: “When I come over tonight, you better be ready in bed…” stuff like that. It can create a hot exchange, too. As long as it’s respectful, it works. I do not like the words “sl*t” or “wh*re”—sorry gents.
I’ve always found it difficult to get girls to talk dirty to me. I don’t have a problem with it, to be honest, but it’s getting them to talk back, that’s difficult. To get them really vocal, I let them take the lead. I might kick things off my asking what they’re turned on by, what things have gotten them hot in the past—build a kind of lexicon around their own sexy experiences, that way it’s familiar and comfortable for them. Not to mention, it’s also sure to arouse them mentally. There’s no greater turn-on, for me, than a well-executed tease. You know, a girl who tells me how naughty or bad she is, how she’s desperately in need of punishment. That kind of thing. Dirty talk makes for heady foreplay. If a girl gives me those innocent bedroom eyes, decked out in lingerie, and starts to play the tease, I’m like putty in her palm.
The dirtier it is, the more vulgar it is, the better. That said, I can’t get into dirty talk with someone I’m not already comfortable with. I need to have that whole trust factor before I can get into a guy calling me his “dirty little sl*t.” If we’ve been hooking up for a while, and I know you’re respectful and cool, then by all means, tell me you can’t resist my little c*nt, tell me what a nasty wh*re I am. I remember I was hooking up with this guy and his words kind of got jumbled and he said something totally ridiculous, like: “I wanna fill your little momma hole.” Still screwing, we both started laughing uncontrollably. I thought it was hot. He had a sense of humor, a sense of the playful, on top of a terribly dirty mouth (and mind). The best lovers I’ve ever had have gotten me off before we’ve even had sex, touched even, just with the things they’ve said, their body language, confidence. That being said, they also knew exactly what turned me on; it wasn’t like they had some game they played.
As varied as these responses are, one thing’s clear: if you’re looking to up your dirty talk game, be confident. It’s also just as important to understand your audience. For someone, it might be really easy to cross the line. Someone else might not have a line, just as long as they feel totally comfortable around you.