What NOT To Put In Your Tinder Profile

Even porn stars are finding your profiles cheesy.
9762_tlib_chloe_carter (1)-min (1)
Photo – Brazzers (Bored Stiff)

Women aren’t as complicated as you think we are (not all of us at least). We’re just looking for a normal-looking, mildly interesting guy to get to know. So why then are there millions of terrible profiles on Tinder that drive us to make fun of you with our girlfriends? Don’t be that guy. Here are some tips on how to improve your Tinder profile and your chances of getting laid.

Profile Photos

9772_btas_Marsha_may (3)-min
Photo – Brazzers (upcoming scene)

Gym Selfies

Even if you have washboard abs that you’re proud of, resist the urge to post a gym selfie. We get it, you go to the gym, or at least, you did that one time. Not only does every douchebag on Tinder have a gym selfie, but it tells us absolutely nothing about you, except that you’re just like all the other douchebags on Tinder. Leave something to the imagination, so when you finally lift up your shirt for that special match, she’ll be like 😍.

9507-brandi_marsha_monique_phoenix_romi (3)-min (2)
Photo – Brazzers (The Late Night Orgy)

Group Photos

Don’t post group photos, just don’t do it. Avoid filling your profile up with group photos of you with your meathead bros doing things bros do. We won’t even be able to tell which one you are in the photo. And what tends to happen, is we choose the ugliest out of the gang of guys and assume that he’s you. Girls, this applies to you too! The profile is about you, not your bros/sistas, so leave them out of it.

Photo – royalgram.co.uk

Mysterious Photos

So you’re trying to make yourself seem intriguing, artsy, edgy – whatever modern buzzword you want to use to replace ‘cool’ – by posting a photo of your shadow, or a photo of you in a dark tunnel. Well obviously enough, Tinder relies heavily on visuals, which means we need to know what you look like. A photo with your face completely hidden or absent from the photo doesn’t cut it.

What To Do Instead

Choose three to five clear, high-definition, non-selfie photos of yourself that show your face and your body. Go for images of you engaged in your favorite hobbies, or activities to give chicks an idea of what you’re all about.

Bio Text

Photo – rd.com

Corny Pickup Lines

Look guys, they don’t work on us at the bar and they certainly don’t work when you put them in your Tinder profile. Corny pickup lines tell us that you didn’t care to put any effort whatsoever into your profile. Your bio is our second impression we get to make of you (after your beautiful face), so take some time to make it interesting.

Gif – imgur

A Bunch of Hashtags

#Stop #Putting #A #Zillion #Hashtags in your Tinder bio. Not only is it annoying as hell, but it’s sure to have every girl who sees your profile swipe left immediately. Hashtag overuse says you lack creativity. Find a way to write a few sentences about yourself without the use of hashtags.

Tim, 21 kilometers away.

“Best date I’ve ever had!” – Girl from the bar last week

“You’re a real winner…” – Ex gf from 2013

“I had a nice time, you’re a real great guy” – Ex Step-sister from 2005


Great, you saw 40-Year-Old Virgin and decided to stick a funny quote from the movie into your profile. That’s great and all, but it’s too specific for the girls who view your profile to relate to. That also goes for you guys who put quotes from philosophers and poets into your profile. All it says is that you’re pretentious and trying too hard to impress anyone who comes across your profile.

What to Do Instead

Keep your bio short and sweet. No one has time to read a novel about your life. Brevity is key. Use a few sentences to let your personality shine. Be witty, be charming and be yourself. Mention a few of your hobbies, passions, special interests and what you do for a living. If you want to throw a couple of impressive achievements in there, go ahead. And no, making it to the last level on Grand Theft Auto doesn’t count.

Written by Nikki Benz

Life lesson provider, Pomeranian lover, and Adult Industry specialist. Don of the #BenzMafia.