A buddy of mine, Jerry, has been married for a decade, a huge accomplishment nowadays, especially with someone so young. It’s also worth noting that he’s only thirty. All of his adult life has been spent with the same woman, Carla. Not only is she drop dead gorgeous, and that’s no exaggeration, but she’s sharp, inquisitive, confident, and independent. Whenever someone asks me if I know of one couple who’s happily married, as if none exist, they’re the first who come to mind.
That’s why I was surprised to learn that Jerry, in an attempt to spice things up, tried swinging. I mean, why fix something that isn’t broken? For him, I think it was about exploring his perceived “lost” youth. He didn’t chase after women like the rest of us guys did when he was in his late teens and early twenties because he was with someone. Actually, most of us were jealous of what he had. Ironically, it seems like he was jealous of our bachelor status. “Grass is always greener”, right?
While the swinger lifestyle does prove beneficial to some couples, it was a gross misadventure for Jerry and Carla. He suggested it as a way to spice things up, though—for him, at least—it was an excuse to have sex with different women without feeling any guilt. A loophole, you could say, to get out of being called a cheater.
He just wasn’t prepared for the reality of his wife, the love of his life, having sex with another dude.
Perhaps shyly, they managed a few trips to a local swingers club. For the first few times they simply watched others to gain a sense of how things worked. There was a hot tub, a pool, a sauna, private rooms, a cinema, and the main floor, or course, outfitted with low-back couches and ottomans, as well as a bar for libations. Jerry explained that they were always together, outfitted in the robe and slippers they were given. On the second visit they got bold; Carla fell to her knees and gave him a blowjob, while others watched. Later they had sex in full view. If others asked to join in, they declined. Jerry found it exciting. Obviously, Carla did, too.
After numerous repeated visits, they officially did it for the first, and what I can only assume will be the last time. They were having sex by the hot tub when another young couple began hovering nearby. They asked if they could join in, and both Jerry and Carla were open to it. The woman began giving Jerry oral sex, while her partner and Carla watched.
Jerry was in his own mind at this point, excited at the prospect of being with an attractive stranger. Everything else fell away as she spread her legs for him and grasped at his behind to push him into her, but then something happened. He heard Carla moaning. Somehow, her cries of pleasure sounded different, almost unrecognizable to him. Instantly, he went soft. The girl asked him if something was wrong and turned to see Carla on her hands and knees as a strange man was pulling her hair back and thrusting in her quickly.
Jerry has always had a bad temper. He has a tendency to act impulsively, driven on by his sometimes stormy emotions.
In that moment, jealous and in rage, naked and vulnerable in his flaccidity, he charged the man making love to his wife and attacked him.
Suffice it to say, they both got the boot, and quite swiftly.
Jerry tells me that things are mostly alright between them now, and he feels endlessly stupid about what he got himself and his wife into. The lifestyle definitely isn’t for everyone. If you want to swing, you have to have trust. More than that, you can’t be too precious about sex. If you’re looking at opening things up, be sure you know what you’re getting yourself into.