Despite what you might think, sex therapy isn’t just for couples looking to rekindle their romance post-pregnancy or retirees searching for those heady honeymoon days. As our culture becomes more open and much more vocal about sex, younger couples are approaching sex therapy as a viable option to resolve any issues they might be having in the bedroom. Since over fifty percent of adults experience some kind of sexual problem, sex therapy offers a viable and effective solution to get couples back to making sweet, sweet love.
Just to be totally clear, sex therapy is a form of talk therapy. It doesn’t entail stripping down and showing off your equipment, a debauched “professional” suggesting threesomes or swinging to ignite the heat, or anything that might be considered physical or intrusive. All it provides is a space for couples to openly discuss their concerns and learn to better sexually express themselves.
If you’re like me, you’re probably wondering what some of the common reasons are for people to seek this kind of treatment, which is why we’ve put together a list consisting of just that.
Along with sexual frequency disagreements, one of the most common issues experienced by couples is low sexual desire. Basically, especially in extremely long-term relationships, a partner (or both) might lose that lovin’ feeling. There are a myriad of reasons this can happen where, typically, an expert would help their patients uncover them. The good news is that in most cases this issue, which seems not to have a solution, can be resolved. By reconnecting and rediscovering what initially brought a couple together, they can rediscover their sexual desire and enjoy a fulfilling sex life.
One of the other big sexual issues, frequency disagreements occur when one partner wants to have plenty more sex than the other. A buddy of mine has been dating a girl for about a year, and while the relationship hasn’t been extremely long, by any means, they’re really into one another. The only issue, according to him, is that she’s perfectly happy having sex a couple times a month. He longs for that first month when they were screwing like animals. Eventually, he coaxed her into seeing a sex therapist with him.
Basically, the therapist uncovered that, for him, sex wasn’t just about “f*cking,” but about “making love.” Because she wasn’t as physically intimate with him, he thought that she didn’t love him. She hadn’t known that. She’d thought he was simply being physically needy and using her for gratification. By encouraging them both to be more communicative, and encouraging her to be more open about things that she found pleasurable, they were able to overcome this hurdle.
NO WOOD AND THE MINUTE MAN
Erectile Dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation are two extremely common issues brought up with sex therapists. Since it’s estimated that nearly one in four men under the age of forty experience ED at one point or another, its prevalence should come as no surprise. Premature Ejaculation (PE) isn’t exactly rare, either. In fact, if you show me a guy who claims he’s never popped off early in his life, I’ll call him a virgin.
In any case, both problems, especially when they’re experienced consistently, can cause serious performance anxiety in a man and that might prevent him from initiating sex with his partner. This can make a woman feel insecure that they’re no longer desirable, and ultimately stifle future intimacy. To some experts, men plagued by ED and PE should learn to take it easy and worry less about their partner’s pleasure. They should focus on their own physical sensations, and start from there.
SPICING THINGS UP OR KEEPING THINGS COOL
As couples become closer and more open, one might try to introduce novelty into the bedroom, whether it be toys, anal sex, BDSM, extra partners, etc. while the other may feel strongly that things stay strictly vanilla. In instances like this, sex therapists use talk therapy to determine how open one/both parties are to experimentation given boundaries.
Nowadays, there isn’t much of a stigma when it comes to talking frankly about sex, which is a good thing. Because people are being more frank about their bedroom habits, they’re having better, more fulfilling sex, some in fifty-year relationships. This is really a testament to the benefits of good communication, and one of the reasons sex therapy is proving such an essential tool for couples looking to better their sex lives.
There’s nothing wrong with talking to a professional, especially if it means hotter sex.