Rewarding relationships enrich our lives, add to our overall happiness and boost our quality of life. Unfortunately, not all relationships are healthy, and sometimes it’s not obvious whether or not you’re in an unhealthy relationship. One of the most important factors is to pay close attention to how a relationship makes you feel. If your relationship causes you distress, or makes you feel bad, there’s a strong chance that you’re in an unhealthy relationship.
Insults disguised as compliments are a passive aggressive tool that unhealthy partners use to put you down. For example, you tell your partner that you received a promotion at work and your partner responds “congrats, that’s great to hear. Maybe you’ll actually keep this job!” This is your partner’s attempt to diminish your accomplishments. Make no mistake, backhanded compliments are an act of hostility and do not make for a healthy relationship.
It may seem like your partner innocently wants to better you, but constant low-key criticisms are your partner’s way of telling you that you are not good enough as you are. Your partner may low-key criticize anything from your look, to certain personality traits, or lack thereof. Either way, being made to feel as though you’re not good enough is unhealthy. Partners should make you feel good about yourself and uplift your self-image. Dealing with constant criticism is damaging.
Your Circle is Getting Smaller
In healthy relationships, both partners have separate identities and maintain friends and interests outside of the relationship. When you’re in an unhealthy relationship, your partner makes the relationship the entire focal point of your life. This results in your circle getting smaller. You find that you’re not maintaining connections outside of the relationship and are slowly becoming isolated. This is your partner’s way of cutting off your support system and increasing your reliability solely on the relationship. This is a damaging tool that allows your partner to maintain control and influence in the relationship.
It’s healthy to have a friendly disagreement here and there. But as you and your partner get to know one another, you should find more common ground. Constantly arguing and disagreeing about every little thing isn’t healthy. Bickering excessively causes stress and pulls partners apart, rather than bringing them closer. Ongoing arguments also lead to other damaging behaviors, such as hurling insults, or giving each other the silent treatment. Arguing is a way for partners to convince one another of their point and a way to be right. It strips you of your right to express and have your views accepted.
What have you noticed are telltale signs of an unhealthy relationships? Let me know below!