How To Deal With A Stage Five Clinger

Run? Run.

We’ve all been there before; you go on a few dates with someone and that person turns into a stage five clinger. You know, overly attached, texting and calling you every waking moment and checking in on you every five minutes.

Here’s how to know whether you’ve got a stage five clinger on your hands and what to do about it.

Photo – Brazzers (The Stowaway)

The Mind of a Clinger

Psychotherapist Susan Whitbourne explains that overly-dependent, overly-attached partners often try to push their partners into establishing close bonds too soon. These people, who we call ‘stage five clingers’, are driven by insecurities typically formed in childhood with their earliest care givers, says Whitbourne.

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Photo – Brazzers (Spin Cycle)

You’re the Center of Their Universe

A clinger jumps into relationships and immediately makes the person of interest the center of their universe. It’s as if they have nothing else going on in their lives and their entire life now revolves around their relationship with you. In their mind, the Sun rises and sets on you.

What to do about it:

  • Immediately begin creating space. A stage five clinger will smother you with attention if you let them. A good way to create space is to become less responsive. Increase the duration of time between responses to their texts or calls. This helps the clinger understand that you are out living your life and that they should do the same. Space forces the clinger to have balance and find other things to occupy their time. And if you’re worried they’ll be out ‘finding other people’ to occupy their time, then you might have a trust issue to deal with regarding that person. But that’s another issue for another time.
Photo – Brazzers (Oh No You Don’t!)

They Stalk Your Social Media

In relationships, it’s uncommon for couples to stalk each other’s social media profiles (we understand there’s a certain amount of regular ‘checking-in’). There’s no need to stalk since couples spend a healthy amount of time with each other in real life. But, the clinger is longing to spend every minute with you, and when she’s not with you, she’s stalking your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat to keep track of what you’re up to.

What to do about it:

  • Avoid engaging with your clinger on social media. Replying to her only serves to fuel her clingy behavior. If you don’t make a habit of engaging with her on social media, she’ll get the picture that your social media accounts are off limits to her and she’ll have to use a different route of communication.
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Photo – Brazzers (The Stowaway)

They Randomly Pop Up Where You Are

There you are at a pool party having fun with your friends when suddenly… your clinger pops up and says “Oh I didn’t know you were going to this party, funny running into you!” The truth is, this is (most probably) no coincidence. Your clinger wants to spend more time with you, so he/she makes sure to randomly pop up wherever you are and pretend that it’s a coincidence that you ran into each other.

What to do about it:

  • Unfortunately, social media makes it easy for stage five clingers to cling. Innocently Snapchatting from your favorite bar let’s your clinger know exactly where you are. Likewise, don’t announce where you’re going, or where you’re at. Your clinger won’t be able to pop-up if she doesn’t know where you are.

That’s about it for dealing with stage five clingers. Have you had any terrible experiences with clingers, or have you been one and changed your ways? Let us know your stories below! We promise we read them.

Written by Nikki Benz

Life lesson provider, Pomeranian lover, and Adult Industry specialist. Don of the #BenzMafia.