Dating A Porn Star Isn’t Complicated

Well, not as much as guys would think

When it comes to dating a female porn star, guys definitely need to prepare themselves and manage their expectations. I should pause to mention though, it’s not as daunting as you probably think. As a rule, I only date ‘civilians’ (as opposed to ‘performers’; people not in the adult industry), so I know what it takes for a guy outside the industry to date me. And there are definitely more pros than cons to being my boyfriend.

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Photo – returnofkings.com

The first thing guys should know is that porn stars definitely look for guys with personality. I’ve been out with some really attractive men, but if you’re as dumb as a board, it’s not gonna work. I’d much rather find someone who’s cute and has something going on upstairs. If a guy is dorky, geeky, or just your average Joe, but is smart and funny and cool to hang with, then I’m all about it.

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You also need to have a high sex drive to keep up with a porn star. You don’t get into porn if you don’t love sex – that means both on and off camera. If you aren’t cool with getting it on whenever the mood strikes, dating a porn star may not be for you. I’m not saying that I expect you to drop everything to bang in the middle of a Starbucks when the feeling hits, but you should be game for sneaking off somewhere private for a quickie whenever we go out. It won’t happen every time we leave the house, but like a good Boy Scout, you should be ready for anything to happen at any time.

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Photo – provocativemanners.blogspot

That said, having sex for a living means once in a while I’m just not going to be in the mood for more when I’m off the clock. Even porn stars need a break every now and then. So while you’ll probably expect to have epic orgasms pretty much 24/7, that’s just not realistic. And forget about having sex worthy of AVN’s ‘Most Outrageous Sex Scene’ award — being that acrobatic can get exhausting, and sometimes all a girl wants is some good old-fashioned missionary sex. Your friends may rag on you for how “vanilla” that is, but I promise you the occasional round of “normal” sex is worth it if it gets your girl off.

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Photo – rebloggy.com

Outside of the bedroom, the biggest con is jealousy. Being a porn star means I’m having sex with someone new every time I go to work, and not many people can handle the thought — or sight — of their significant other f*cking someone else. At one point, even the chillest, most laid-back guy is going to get a little jealous or worry that his girl wants one of her costars more than she wants him. And the jealousy goes both ways. Just because I’m having sex with other people at work doesn’t mean I’m okay with you flirting with other women — I don’t want to share.

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Photo – relationshipscoach.co.uk

So if you want your relationship with me to last, you’re going to have to be open and honest and willing to communicate. If you just flip out at me for doing my job, that’s it, we’re done. It may sound like new age hippie shit, but communication really is the key to making things work. If you aren’t up for the occasional uncomfortable talk — even if it means having hot makeup sex afterward — then you’re not ready for a porn star girlfriend.

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Photo – Brazzers

If, after reading this, you think you can hang with me and my girlfriends, then you’ll need to know how to approach us. Picking up a porn star is like picking up any other hot girl: just be yourself. Dating one, is a slightly different scenario as mentioned above. But if you think you can handle us, come up and say hello. Also, it wouldn’t hurt to buy the girl a drink, and remember that if she really likes you, she’s going to be just as nervous and trying just as hard to impress as you are — even if she’s a porn star.

Written by Nikki Benz

Life lesson provider, Pomeranian lover, and Adult Industry specialist. Don of the #BenzMafia.