Christmas Hook-up Horror Stories That Luckily Didn’t Happen To You

'The Champagne Bottle' story is insane...
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Photo – Brazzers (My Uncle’s GF Wants My D*ck!)

The holidays are just around the corner, which means plenty of time with friends and family. We’ve already looked at ways to get freaky during the holidays while hosting or being a guest during the cheery season. Now, let us enchant you with some stories we received through our inbox at Trendzz regarding some holiday horror stories from readers who got caught with their proverbial pants down.

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Photo – Cayton Heath | Unsplash

The Car Crash Condom

Growing up, I lived out in the boonies on a big family farm. Five years ago I had a girl up to visit my parents. We’d been dating nearly a year so it was getting kind of serious and my parents wanted to meet the special girl in my life and all that. So we were up there four days and it was day three, the day after Christmas. At this point, we were both uncontrollably horny so I told my parents that I’d give Pam a drive on our old stick shift and show her the property. We barely made it out of the house and we were crawling all over each other.

As I was driving her to one of the back fields, she was groping me like a madwoman and I was getting pretty flustered, to be honest.

Finally, confident we were safe, I stopped the truck. We started making out, Pam already had me in a condom, and suddenly she started shrieking.

I forgot to put the car in park and we were rolling down a ridge into a copse of trees. Before I could put it in park it was too late. I hit a tree… Later that afternoon, my dad helped me tow the truck out. He found the condom. What makes this even worse is the fact that Pam and I are married now. My parents still joke about it every holiday season.

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Photo – Alex Holyoake | Unsplash

The Champagne Bottle

I was dating this guy from Paris, Christian, and agreed to join him at his mom’s ritzy apartment in The City of Lights for the holidays. His dad had passed away when he was like eight so he and his mom were extremely close, like, creepy close. I was so anxious because he’d told me so much about her and I really, really wanted to make a good impression. From the first moment we met, I knew she hated me. She’d refuse speaking English to me and basically treated me like a third wheel. It was awful.

Anyways, on Christmas day we’d arranged to have a lavish dinner at his grandparents’ place. His mom was supposed to be there all afternoon helping his grandmother prepare dinner, and we were going to meet them that evening, so we thought we had carte blanche to f*ck like crazy. It was really hot. We were eating strawberries, macaroons, drinking champagne like it was nobody’s business and screwing without a care in the world.

At some point, Christian decided to plug my ass with an empty champagne bottle while I was on my knees giving him head.

Surprise: his mom walked in with me on all fours, Christian in my mouth. At that point, I honestly gave no fucks.

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Photo – Corey Blaz | Unsplash

Jingle Balls, Jingle Balls

This was probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me, period. I was at home for Christmas, dateless. It was Christmas Eve and the whole family was going to be congregating at mom and dad’s the day of for our traditional morning mimosas, brunch, and gifts, of course. Growing up, I’d normally masturbate every. Single. Night. Alone, bored, slightly horny, AND in my late-twenties, I decided I’d fall on old habits. So I pulled out the laptop, my muff headphones, some tissues, and found myself something that suited my fancy.

Strangely, I couldn’t hear anything coming through my headphones, so I maxed out the volume. Still, the sound was crazy quiet but I could kind of hear it so I thought nothing of it.

Things in the video started getting really heady and I began to, you know, jack it. Suddenly, my bedroom door flew open and it was my mom, dressed in her robe. I freaked out, covered myself, took off my headphones and realized that I hadn’t even plugged them into the headphone jack, so there’s this porn star moaning out loud that she’s coming and my mom, just shaking her head at me. She looked so scandalized. She told me to turn my smut off and go to bed. Thankfully, we never talk about that night. We just pretend it never happened.


Do you have an embarrassing holiday horror story? Let us know by emailing it to info@trendzz.com! Who knows, you might find it featured anonymously in Part 2.

Written by Hugh Jasse

An eloquent soul, a lover of women, fine wine, and travel. I can often be spotted aboard a skiff in Santorini, catching rays and artfully plucking at my lute.