Gents, the art of seduction has all but been forgotten. Scratch that: it’s dead. Blame it on the frat boy mentality of the pickup artist community, the effortlessness of online dating—hell, blame it on the fact that we spend more time staring into computer screens than into other peoples’ faces. The fact remains, we’ve got no game, folks. Ever the humanitarian, I’ve asked a couple women about their courtship fails and successes, so take some notes.
Being catcalled is the worst. It’s so obnoxious. One time I was rushing to work and there were three forty- to fifty-year-olds just hanging out on a stoop. I could feel their eyes on me basically immediately. It’s this whole performance of masculinity they put on. So they’re all leering at me and one of them decides to holler at me in Spanish. The only thing I picked up was “mamacita,” but I flipped out. I turned around and told him to mind his fucking business. These are older men, probably married, playing like they’re young Casanovas, which strikes me as disgusting. Anyways, this guy joins me on the street and starts cussing me out, calling me a stuck up bitch. I was shocked and a bit threatened, too. The way I see it, guys who catcall aren’t really doing it to catch a girl’s attention; they’re trying to impress their friends. You know: “look at me, look how macho I am”.
I think everyone is receptive to meeting someone new, romance, that kind of thing. Another time this older guy stopped me on the street and he was very polite about it and very earnest. He was like: “Excuse me, I don’t mean to be forward, but you’re very beautiful.” That was all he said. He smiled, nodded, and kept walking down the sidewalk. If he would have asked for my number, I would have given it to him. In a second.
Whistling, catcalling, those greasy pickup lines that sad little men collect—those are huge turnoffs. The assumption is that I’m a slab of meat without a mind or a personality (shout out to all those fuckboys I met). I want a guy who’s spontaneous, creative—who isn’t afraid of women. I feel like our culture is implicitly afraid of women, and it’s a shame. I’m receptive to guys who approach me like a normal person and introduce themselves to me like a normal person; it’s not magic, trust me. That “negging” shit just doesn’t work, at least not on a woman. If a guy approaches me and thinks he’s clever for being patronizing I won’t give him the time of day.
I was at the library one afternoon studying—this was back in college—and this guy just walks past me and slides a note on my desk. He made eye contact and smiled beforehand, so there was that connection to begin with. Basically, he left his number and suggested that it would be nice to meet someone new, if I was interested. I was definitely curious, so I ended up calling him… We’ve been dating for eight years. For me, I think it’s about being honest about who you are and not putting up fronts. Be yourself and don’t be afraid of getting rejected. It’s massively narcissistic to presume that every woman you see will be interested.
These personal experiences have been transcribed to show you exactly what some women think of catcalling. Beyond these however, The Scene produced a powerful video on the subject as son’s watch their mothers get catcalled in the streets. It must be kept in mind, most of these prank videos and hidden camera videos on YouTube are staged and it has been discussed at length. Regardless, the message behind the video speaks for itself – staged or not.
Have you had any luck picking up a girl by catcalls or using cheesy pickup lines? Let me know.