While everyone is different, the way in which we respond to breakups typically follows a similar pattern. For argument’s sake (and simplicity’s sake), let’s lump both males and females into the same breakup grouping.
Now let’s take this one step further and agree that the person or persons living through the breakup can go one of two routes pertaining to their “recovery” or reintegration into the dating world. They typically do one of these two things:
- Shut down and recoil from the world (any and all social interactions) while coming to grips with the unfortunate end to a relationship that was cherished.
- Go “buck wild” on a sex binge and, as the singer Peaches so eloquently put it, “Fvck the pain away”.
Clearly these are two polar opposite ends of the breakup spectrum. Sure there are various in-between reactions to coping with the end of relationships, however, it would appear that these two extremes seem most prevalent in today’s day and age.
Now I am not one to recant tall tales, as such I will delve into my own personal experience regarding the opposite sex. Well actually in this case I will use my dealings with a very close friend (let’s call him Jerry) and the way in which I helped him cope with the unfortunate demise of his long standing relationship.
Perhaps “cope” is not the ideal word to use in this particular example… you see, Jerry had his own way of dealing with the tragic ruination of what was once, as he lovingly put it “the most honest and real relationship I have ever been in”. Jerry had been enamored with this sultry raven-haired beauty and their relationship moved along swimmingly… until it didn’t. The object of his affection (let’s call her Sheeba) decided to vacation in her parental home land.
Needless to say, Jerry was heartbroken while she was gone, but that was only the start of his turmoil. When Sheeba returned, she abruptly ended their “perfect” relationship and thus began Jerry’s introduction to the “Peaches” way of coping, so to speak. Jerry went the route of “fvcking the pain away”. Now when I tell this tale, I try to put a positive spin on my role in it, I say things like I helped him cope, rebound or find himself once more… the truth is I was never more than a “wing-man”. At least I didn’t tell him shitty, ‘nonsensical’ spirit-lifters. Sometimes they do more harm than good.
To simplify this tale let me put it this way… Jerry was a regular at the local watering hole, everyone knew him there and well, for four weeks, they saw a great deal of him. Following his breakup, Jerry went to his local watering hole every day for twenty eight days… and during every one of those twenty eight days, he shared his bed, or car, or back of the bar with a different girl. Yeah, Jerry really took to the whole sex binge, “fvck the pain away”, motto. And I had to help him, not really as a ‘wingman’, because he didn’t really need that much of my help, but more as a friend and curious bystander.
28 women, 28 days and a whole lot of condoms… Jerry may well have been promiscuous, but he was careful.
Now this particular breakup story played its course and thankfully Jerry reintegrated the social dating world no worse for wear. And while I may not have been present for every one of those 28 days, I was there for a large part of it. In the end I was reunited with the person that was and has remained to this day, a dear friend and he found himself somewhere in that cacophony of sexual decadence.
Yeah, Jerry fvcked the pain away and came out relatively unscathed, I however have never found myself as exhausted as I did “helping” him then.