Stop Being Obsessed With Finding Your Soulmate

This isn't a fairy tale, and it's time you accept it.

When we’re growing up, we often fantasize about what our lives will be like as adults. We create an idea of who we’ll get married to, what career we’ll have, and when we’ll have children. As children, we also create the image of our ideal soulmate very early on. This image may have several iterations, altering ever-so-slightly as we enter adulthood. Perhaps you imagined you’d be married by now. The truth is, there are many good reasons you shouldn’t worry about finding your soulmate. You’d be surprised that “the one” may come along when you least expect it. 

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Photo – Brazzers (Day with a Pornstar: Dani)

You need to find yourself

More importantly than finding “the one,” you really need to find yourself. Life is about experiences and it’s these experiences that help us get to know ourselves. If you obsess over finding that one perfect partner, you’re taking away from getting to know yourself. Challenge yourself, try new things any chance you get. Step outside of your comfort zone at each opportunity. Travel internationally and experience other cultures. When you do get involved in long-term relationships, you’ll know exactly what you’re looking for, what your needs are and how to develop and maintain a healthy, satisfying relationship.

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Photo – energetic-mastery

You’re not the only one

Sometimes the world can seem so small, and when we’re going through things, it can feel as if we’re the only ones going through it at the time. Perhaps all of your close friends are married, or in long-term relationships. Don’t let that cloud your perception. Every day, millions of Americans, who are in the same boat as you, log on to dating web sites, looking to find “the one.” So get it out of your head that you’re the only single person out there looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right.

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Photo – Last Call Magazine

It makes you look desperate

When you’re constantly focused on finding Mr. Right, you’ll end up evaluating every potential partner as “the one.” This can lead to behavior that makes you seem desperate. You know, texting multiple times when you don’t hear from the person. Sending novel-length messages, even though he’s sending one sentence messages. Pressuring the person to move at a faster pace (i.e showing up with a U-Haul on the third date). Nothing sends a potential partner running faster than the scent of desperation and stage-five ‘clingyness’.

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Photo – Brazzers (Day with a Pornstar: Janice)

This isn’t your grandparents generation

American society has changed dramatically from a time where it was expected that you’d marry your high school sweetheart and start a family in your early 20s. Today, women are more independent, career-driven and focused on more than just raising a family. This is why you shouldn’t obsess over finding your “soulmate.” Priorities have shifted in today’s society and finding a life partner to settle down with is no longer a number one priority.

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Photo – Brazzers (Nothing Goes To Waste)

So enjoy living your life as it is right now, because it’s pretty great, and you’re not alone if you don’t find your soulmate. Just please, if you do find them, don’t become a ‘social media couple‘.The world will thank you – myself included.

Written by Nikki Benz

Life lesson provider, Pomeranian lover, and Adult Industry specialist. Don of the #BenzMafia.