Have you been entertaining thoughts of visiting your local sex club? If you are, you’ll want to know some sex club etiquette. Many a couple has found its lost mojo during a hedonistic session of group sex and since the space is ‘sex positive’, you can be reassured that you’ll feel safe and comfortable exploring your own as well as your partner’s sexual fantasies. Have you ever imagined what it would be like to be in a porno? Well, the closest you might get is a good old sex club – besides, most smaller budget studio sets aren’t very interesting anyway.
All that said, to ensure your experience and the experiences of those around you are the best that they can possibly be, here’s my personal guide to sex club etiquette.
- Come with a playmate. While this isn’t a mandatory requirement, it is highly recommended—single women excluded (they’re like the unicorns of sex clubs). The reason why is that single guys can be threatening. It’s easier to arrange a swap with another couple than to get invited into an MMF threesome. Honestly, it doesn’t even matter if you look like Ryan Gosling and you’re hung like Mandingo, this point still stands. Besides, nobody wants to be the skivvy dude with the distended gut standing there performing hand to gland combat as he’s leering at a couple getting it on.
- Know exactly why you’re there. Don’t swagger in without an idea of what your limitations are. Since it’s advisable that you visit with a partner, you should both agree on how you intend on enjoying yourselves. Will you, for example, soft swap (that means oral swapping) or full swap (having full sex, no holds barred)? Are you comfortable if your partner disappears into a private room with a stranger; is she comfortable if you do? The point here is that you should have an established game plan to ensure that nobody feels uncomfortable. While swinging can strengthen a relationship and allow you to expand your sexual horizons, it can also create tension and jealousy. Obviously, nobody wants that.
- Take things slow. I think it’s always good to know exactly what you and your partner are willing to do, but to also have the attitude that there’s no pressure to take things to the limit. If you’re both feeling a bit overwhelmed and anxious, feel free to wander around and just watch. Plenty of people show up just to be voyeurs, so you’d be in great company. This has the added benefit of giving you time and space to figure out how things work, exactly. Also, the sight of all that sex is bound to get you worked up for a night of passion. Remember though, if the door to a private room is shut, don’t sneak a peek inside. Respect people’s privacy.
- Ask first. It might seem awkward to do, but be sure to ask if you can join a couple before hopping in. Sometimes it’s better to have your female partner do the talking; it’s less threatening to the other guy and generally has much better results. Consent is extremely important, so be sure things are clear before you start groping a stranger, and also let them know what you are and aren’t willing to do.
- Wrap it up. This is a serious no-brainer, but it still needs to be said. Wrap. That. Shit. Up. Sex clubs are well stocked with condoms but bring your own anyways—and ladies, you too. Observe proper condom hygiene. That means change condoms every time you change partners. This one’s really non-negotiable.
- Respect the space. Be tidy and respect that you’re using a common space. That means throwing out used condoms or tissues and following house rules.
While I wouldn’t advise visiting a sex club every weekend—you know what they say about too much of a good thing—I do think they’re a great way to spice things up. More than that, you’ll be surprised by the kinds of people you find there and just how open and accepting they are. Even for the inhibited, it’s an easy space to get down in—just be sure to respect the rules, and I’m certain you’ll have fun!