Ghosting: What It Is, Why It’s Immature, And How To Deal With It

A crash course on how to become a real-life ghost buster.
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Photo – Joy Stamp/Unsplash

If someone you connected with romantically has ever disappeared without an explanation, you’ve been ghosted. This unfortunate break up trend occurs when an individual is no longer interested in building a relationship with the ghostee and instead of being up front about it, simply cuts off all communication.

Ghosting Categories

Ghosting falls into three main categories and thanks to dating apps, it’s on the rise.

  • ‘First Date Ghosters’: express initial interest in you and make plans to meet up for a first date. Once the day comes around, they don’t return your calls, or texts and you never hear from them again. Likely indicating that they might actually be catfishing you.
  • ‘Casual Ghosters’: begin a casual dating relationship with you. But just when you think things are going great and that you’re building a connection, they suddenly stop communicating.
  • ‘Long-term Ghosters’: are the worst kind. They’re boyfriends and girlfriends you’ve been dating on a long-term basis when out of the blue they cut off all communication and vanish without a trace – only to find them with someone else along the line.
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Photo – Steinar La Engeland/Unsplash

Why People Do It

Regardless of what type of ghosting you experience, ghosters have one thing in common…they’re immature. Simply put, people ghost because they’re no longer interested and are too passive and avoidant to let you know. Instead, they let calls, texts and messages go unanswered until you finally get the hint. It’s selfish and it leaves you feeling unresolved.

Why It’s Immature

Telling a current partner, or potential suitor that you are no longer interested takes emotional maturity and courage, which is sorely lacking in today’s fast paced, swipe-right millennial dating culture. Ghosters would rather avoid any sort of confrontation and simply move on to someone else without facing anything uncomfortable. Ghosting leaves unsuspecting people feeling confused and rejected and leaves them without closure.

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Photo – Luis Del Río Camacho/Unsplash

How To Deal With It

If you’ve been ghosted, shift your attention to a positive area of your life. Otherwise you’ll travel down a dark, winding rabbit hole of checking their social media profiles every 5 minutes to try to find out what’s going on with them and driving yourself crazy in the process. And if the social media rabbit hole isn’t enough, please don’t dive into the anxiety pool, drowning yourself with questions about what you did wrong or how you could have prevented the person from leaving. Don’t go there.

First, know that you didn’t do anything wrong and understand that anyone who is immature enough to use ghosting as a break up method is not worth fretting over. If you shift your attention to something positive, you won’t have time to dwell on a lame ghoster. This could mean focusing on a new hobby, catching up with friends you haven’t seen in a while, or volunteering to help those less fortunate than you, which really puts life into perspective. For some more tips on regaining your confidence after being ghosted and rejected, check out this article and take care of yourself!

Written by Nikki Benz

Life lesson provider, Pomeranian lover, and Adult Industry specialist. Don of the #BenzMafia.